grey wolves, red blood, black cloth, white bones

The Boogers - Pop Pop

2011-05-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Nyles and I are responsible for this fiesta of gross out.

Modular Masturbation

2011-05-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

Recently I've developed a huge crush on our modular gear at work. It's all I want to play with. Ever again. Because, musically, it is far more fun and rewarding than anything else has been for years. I figure if I make at least one or two of these everyday for another week or two...I can have an entire album of modular nonsense. I will probably be the only person who will ever listen to it, but hey. I'll have finished something!

Here's the first few!

   Rooftop Raccoons by ambsace
   Wee-Wee-Wee Wah-Wah-Wah Woh-Woh-Woh by ambsace
   A-Heyya by ambsace

And here's a terrible picture of this process:

cape spear.

2011-04-09T11:23:00.001-07:00

oh yeah. i made a little video for 'cape spear', too. did it on my phone, so the quality is a bit shit. but hey, it works.

doldrums.

2011-04-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

Jayme Keith and I are responsible for this monster. But it's rather beautiful so you should watch it, love it, and sing our praises. I'll have a download link for a doesn't-suck-dick quality version of the song shortly.

EDIT:

Ambsace - Doldrums (feat. Jayme Keith) by ambsace

Early Winter Mornings.

2011-02-26T09:11:00.000-08:00

2010-12-16T08:33:00.000-08:00

at the end of the storm...
will we have washed up on the shore?

grey wolves, red blood, black cloth, white bones

2010-12-13T22:05:00.000-08:00

2010: 2012?

2010-12-13T01:25:00.000-08:00

well, i can assure you that 2010 has been, by far, the most interesting year in quite a few. on the whole, though, it's been a big fucking kick in the teeth. for better or worse. either way, it'll be nice to have a space and sleeping apparatus of my own once again. 2011? finger crossed?

one way, however, this year has unquestionably sucked worse than any i can recall is the absence of new tunes. ever since my computer blew up in june ('The June') i've basically been listening to the same 8 albums (this is what fits on the 1GB SD card in my H2. too lazy to change it):

cobalt - eater of birds
cobalt - gin
children - hard times hangin' at the end of the world
swans - my father will guide me up a rope to the sky
svart - vanära, vanmakt och avsmak
licht erlischt - the narrow path
arms and sleepers - matador
type o negative - october rust

as a result, i don't even know where to begin with a 2010 'best of' list. here's what i've spent the last hour coming up with that i can remember liking at one point or another. it all feels like over a year ago, but the internet tells me otherwise. and i can only think of six.

burzum - belus
black tusk - taste the sin
swans - my father will guide me up a rope to the sky
amiina - puzzle
xasthur - portal of sorrow
deftones - diamond eyes

longest year of my life. i hope the coming decade chills the fuck out.

Cape Spear

2010-12-12T10:42:00.000-08:00

Cape Spear by ambsace

updated.

2010-12-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

this is my 100th post. and this is something new.

window (demo) by ambsace

Mac & Milk Fashion Week SS2011

2010-10-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

welcome to my new york experience.

Inconsequential?

2010-10-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

The man has crawled out the window, along the ledge, and now stands poised above his city and a death of his own contrivance. Yes, he's sure. Yes, he has his reasons, fine, fine. Certainly, he's come to terms with and accepted this as his reality and means of ending it, yes, of course. Now, then. How does the man who wishes to commit suicide choose where he jumps? Does he at all? Is he concerned with where he lands? And by which manner of thrust does he achieve it? Does he consider trajectory? Does he account for wind? Does he consider that he'd rather land on level pavement than on the stairs, a car, or a postal box? Does he think that will hurt less? Why would that even be a consideration? The end result is, in effect, the same, is it not? Why would it matter? Does all this engineering then break down resolution? 'Is it possible for it to hurt less?' Deliberation. 'Well, I suppose it should assuming it doesn't work.' Spiraling even steeper, 'What if it does work and nothing changes? Is being alive like being dead?'

Regardless, I'll admire a man's commitment to the task when he does jump, it's just something I wonder. Actually, I expect that these are exactly the kinds of things men think about seeing as I've just held my own hand through it. It really is all meaningless, isn't it? Who cares.

recording day.

2010-10-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

more ideas. more demos. more shit to listen to.

20101014 - demo by ambsace

Weekend.

2010-10-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

Walking out of the store, past an overflowing clearance bin, I saw they had those fluorescent orange & yellow vests construction workers and crossing guards wear. For five dollars. So I bought one.

On the street, I fell in line with a group of corporate business types likely taking a long lunch, talking numbers and deadlines. Our procession pace soon came to a halt as a younger woman stopped an elderly Chinese man riding his bicycle. She was stiff-armed, wagging her finger in his face. Saying something about compromising traffic flow and common courtesy. The Chinese man, obviously not understanding, smiled politely, nodded, and attempted to continue on his way. A hefty, fur-lined boot stepped firmly in front of his tire as she continued in a slow, syntax-free ‘No Bicycle! No Ride!’ gesturing ‘safe’ like an umpire. The situation was anything but ‘safe’, however, and I shuffled around them quickly as I could, my back pressed against the wall of the storefront.

I lit a cigarette. It was another few blocks to the liquor store.

They were running the heat though it was only the end of October and quite a pleasant day considering. I removed my scarf and hat as I began to browse. After checking to make sure I still had my last twenty I weighed out my options, keeping in mind the following night required a certain degree of ridiculousness. The evening would be long. I’d be making too much small talk, greeting distanced friends and acquaintances. The situation demanded alcohol. Lots of it. A pint of cheap scotch being the friendliest, but poor for those awkward silences (which I’m certain there would be many of) as well as prolonging the inevitable. ‘Whiskey’s fast, beer to last.’ I opted for a mickey and four beers. Two for traveling and not enough to share upon arriving. Perfect.

I was staying with a relative but when I awoke the next morning she had already stepped out. I had enough change left for a coffee and, having nothing better to do, walked the few miles to a favourite café in my old neighbourhood. A girl worked there whom I’d always been attracted to and didn’t seem to mind my loitering. I liked to entertain the idea that she might one day come and sit with me. I would tell her some jokes. She had a warm laugh.

I approached the counter and she smiled when (I hope) she recognized me. ‘A coffee, please. Black.’ She smiled again and slowly pushed a curl of long black hair behind her ear as she accepted my money. In her cartilage she was wearing a delicate silver hoop with a small silver bead. It made me feel very old. I sat down near the window and hung my jacket on the chair beside me. Another quiet Sunday.

I spent the remainder of the day at a nearby park, smoking and napping, using my booze and vest stuffed bag as a pillow. I listened as the tires of bicycles softly crunched across an orange lake of fallen leaves, the path shaded by overgrown hickories. I watched young mothers jogging with strollers or couples holding hands, walking their dogs. An old man sat, reading on a wooden bench across the field. Everyone enjoying what was, certainly, a perfect autumn afternoon.

As the sun began to dip behind the trees, a cool breeze picked up and the shadows now stretched beyond my little camp. I also realized I was hungry, so I checked my cigarettes to see I only had half a pack left. While I gathered my things I noticed the older gentleman shuffling across the field to where I was sitting. ‘Hello there,’ he said. I shifted my position to face him but didn’t say anything. ‘I’ve seen you sitting here all day. ‘ He paused, so I nodded. ‘If I still had my youth I’d be propped up against one of those trees.’ I explained that the trees were all marked and I wasn’t comfortable sitting there. ‘Marked?’ he asked, ‘How do you mean?’ ‘Dogs,’ I said. ‘And the sun is warm.’

The sun, however, was nearly down now. I made my way back across the city to visit a friend working the evening shift at a local restaurant. When I walked in he was with the only customers so I took a seat in a booth near the back. At the other occupied table was an attractive young couple. The man, clean-shaven, his hair greased back, wearing a crisp shirt and tie. The knot was done too small for the collar, but he looked sharp nonetheless. His date, however, was exceptional in her beige, fitted pinafore dress, which was hemmed just above the knee to expose a pair of remarkably smooth, olive-skinned legs. I did my best not to stare.

Soon, sliding across the opposite bench, my friend greeted me with a cup of tea. He looked tired. ‘All set for tonight?’ After glancing back to notice the woman’s neck and the way her smooth brown hair draped across it, over the one shoulder, I thanked him for the tea. ‘How is it? Being back in the city?’ he asked. ‘Quiet. Nothing much has changed,’ I said. ‘Have you seen anyone else since you got in?’ I shook my head. No. ‘Well, what’ve you been doing?’ Nothing. ‘When does your shift end?’ I asked. ‘We close at 9. I’ll be finished cleaning around 9:30.’ I sipped on my tea. Earl Grey. ‘I’ll come back then.’

The woman was recounting a novel she had just read. It was based on the true story of a man plagued by obsessive-compulsive tendencies and terrible anxieties. An overwhelming fear of being alone and forgotten. She crossed her legs. But his eccentric behaviour made it impossible to keep friends or women. One day he was fired from his job. He had refused to shake hands with a client after seeing him rearrange himself under his slacks. She ran a thumb up the underside her shoulder strap. Discovering he was ineligible for unemployment and facing insurmountable debt due to years of therapy and medication, he moved his belongings out into the street and boarded a bus for New Mexico. A length of hair fell from across her neck. Down her back. There, with just a two-gallon jug of water and a loaf of bread, he wandered into the desert to lose himself. To overcome his fears. To die feeling like he accomplished something. Her subtle hands gripped the edge of the table as she leaned over it, breathing in deeply, her chest rising. Two weeks later, picked apart by coyotes and carrion birds, they found his body. Miles from anywhere.

This woman. Was beautiful. On my way out I ignored the cold stare I received from the man. Clearly I hadn’t been as discreet as I had hoped. Oh well.

I came back to the restaurant at 9:45. My friend had changed into an old, unfitted three-piece suit and was standing out front having a cigarette. Under the streetlight, the grey haze of the smoke matched the faded grime of his suit. We walked to the subway and boarded a train where I drank my allotted two beers.

As we approached the party, with a suitable buzz, I reached into my bag and donned my reflective vest. ‘What are you supposed to be?’ my friend asked. ‘An alcoholic,’ I said. ‘Again?’ he laughed, ‘For fuck’s sake.’ The previous year I wore my father’s old sheepskin jacket and a pair of aviators. The year before it was a red polo with the name of some wholesale commercial appliance company embroidered above the breast pocket. Three years ago I shaved and wore a long, wavy blonde wig.

‘And what're you?’ We came up the stairs, stepping over a disheveled sheriff. Burned out cigarette dangling from his fingers, his mustache stained with purple. The front door suddenly burst out and, riding on a wave of high decibel bass, a host of entangled flesh washed ashore. A ‘sexy’ angel, a ‘sexy’ cat, and a ‘sexy’ devil, laughing, falling over each other, themselves, and more or less out of whatever little clothing they were wearing. I can’t say it was entirely unpleasant.

A bottle smashed at my feet and a minute’s instant later the angel slung a slurred apology my way. It was a physical as well as a verbal apology, grappling onto my jacket as much for support as it was a gesture of sincerity. But she was sweet. I told the angel she had fallen and I was there to redeem her. The vacant, bloodshot eyes and crippled sense of balance, however, suggested I was shooting blanks. I left her to her friends and turned to my own one, taking in the suit once more. ‘I have no idea what any of this is,’ I said, speaking over the music and glancing inside. ‘Tonight, you play the role of my attorney.’

communiqué XXIII

2010-10-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

october.

2010-10-03T10:22:00.000-07:00

it's autumn. my favourite time of year. i spent an hour or two in a friend's basement recording this yesterday. just a rough outline (especially since i just noticed parts of it don't really work) as i intend to do something more interesting with it involving another friend of mine and some plans we have for a little EP while i'm in staying in toronto. for now, though, here it is. if you've got nothing better to do for the next 3 minutes.

20101005 by ambsace

and, unrelated: this is what the back of the standard hotel looks like from the penthouse patio at milk. i felt the need to include a recent picture and this was there. the end.

perpetual migration.

2010-09-28T22:43:00.000-07:00

one more city. one more beer. a routine i've managed to sustain for the bulk of the last decade. urban nomadism, north american romanticism. faces both kind and indifferent, pouring just one more pint. one final, futile grasp at immortality before the dawn takes us. bryan ferry on the juke, kiss and tell (wish i had anything to tell). elton john, goodbye yellow brick road.

'last call', and everything in that imperfect, insulated world dies with the shriek of tungsten. pupils shrink and unconscious emotion erodes into immediately defined, ragged, unforgiving canyons of confusion and oncoming depression; a rude awakening. fouler, yet less complex than the reality that gripped just moments before. some would rather stay asleep. most would be better off, coping mechanisms feuding with better judgment.

and tomorrow i'll be gone. the faces, the names, the conversation, the soundtrack. all superimposed on the same temporally meaningful photograph. a long exposure in the shaky hands of another heart-breaking bar tab.

but i suppose the details were never that important anyway. was quiescence really ever on the agenda? nobody cares.

fuck it.

grey wolves, red blood, black cloth, white bones

2010-09-27T19:26:00.000-07:00

"Under the moon in grey or without it gathered in the dog drab of unlit night we will come."

fashion weak.

2010-09-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

a belated update. mac & milk fashion week. september 9th - 16th. longest, strangest week of my life. i was given the opportunity to record the semi-related live shows at don hill's. i'm not really sure what's happening with those recordings just yet, but the idea is that i'll eventually be paid for them. which would be neat. here's some pictures of the those shows:

BRMC

iggy pop

hole

crystal castles

yeah yeah yeah's

all pictures lifted from the milkmade site. there's more there, though it should be pretty obvious by my selection for this blog that there's not really much to see (with the exception of iggy. those turned out pretty well. actually, i think it was pretty impossible to get BAD pictures. fuck that was amazing).

if you wanna hear something amazing, ask me about courtney love and i'll send you a version of celebrity skin that will blow your brain outta your ass. seriously, it's beyond words.

sadlantic city.

2010-08-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

this past friday we filled two vehicles with some of the most terrible human beings on the planet (some pretty good ones, too, though) and set out for atlantic city. i feel this single picture pretty well summarizes our experience, strolling down the boardwalk into the sunrise, debating whether it would be best to sleep or never sleep again. largely indifferent.

this experience has instilled yet again that feeling of impermanence and the inevitable death of all things (most importantly, me). not because of what would seem like obvious reasons, but it definitely got me to glance at my doom-ometer again. and i fucking hate that thing. dear world: please stop making me second-guess myself all the time. even if it's apparently for exercises in character building. i hate characters, too. like those two jersey bro's who wanted to know the difference between marriage and chicken fingers before buying me a beer and emulating with their fingers' what happens to their friends' wieners when they see a fit dude with a tight ass. to summarize. those guys sucked. except for the free beer, that was pretty cool. free's cool.

anyway, good vacation. bro fist.

EDIT: much better/more awesome pictures at http://spencerversustheworld.com/blog

Target Kaleidescopic Fashion Spectacular

2010-08-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

so this thing happened. and it was really seriously completely awesome. 60 dancers, an entire hotel, a light show by the dude that does daft punk's shit, and 20 minutes of fuck yes. here's some silly pictures i took while i was there with a camera i could never afford. thanks, LEGS.

hey, have i mentioned yet how awesome new york is? and how much more awesome my life got as soon as i moved here? well. there you go.

NYC in an afternoon.

2010-07-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

last week i tagged along with kalvin on a job which required him to film various parts of the city. we only had one afternoon to do it (which was not the original plan, no. there was to be a morning, too, but things got out of hand the night before). after borrowing a 5D of my own we were off. naturally, most of my pictures were trash because i haven't played with a proper camera in ages, i've apparently adopted a boring eye, and i'm fucking slow. so, instead, i mostly shot kalvin.

though we went out again this past saturday, actually, and hit even more places. more to come. it's suddenly almost like i have a blog or something. with actual updates. what the fuck.

sounds of NYC

2010-07-21T17:52:00.000-07:00

i'm upset with myself for only just today realizing i carry a field recorder with me all the time and i've been in new york for a week. today i spent most of the evening in central park (i walked the entire 50 block length of it. after walking from 14th st. yeah, it was a long day). the highlight, though, was when i stopped for a break at the bethesda terrace and had a look at the minton tile ceiling (not my photo. i won't be responsible for that framing).

what made the experience complete, however, was this lovely girl playing violin. i sat and listened to her for about 20 minutes, mouth mostly agape, before i remembered my fucking H2. so i pulled it out and recorded the last bit of her performance. i meant to ask what the piece was called, as well as her name, but...well, that's a bit of a facepalm afterthought.

anyway, this is what sitting in the bethesda arcade sounds like, listening to a lovely girl playing violin and people walking by. i'm definitely going to be doing more of these in the coming weeks. i had forgotten.

Violincentralpark by ambsace

NYC

2010-07-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

so, last friday i wandered onto a bus and now i live in new york. mixed feelings over mixed drinks. fickle, fickle. i plan about as well as wet wood starts fires. not to suggest that i'm without flame, though, my hopes/dreams for this city are about as big as a box of Ho Hos® are to a couple of ants. fingers crossed shit works out, no? kalvin and i are already scheming and figuring out projects we can do to basically pitch me to milk studios for more regular work. where hopefully i can meet some people and get involved in some other projects. this being entirely why i left toronto. with luck, there'll be something more to say in the weeks to come, but for now this is all i've got. this and bad 3am macbook photos. drunk.

fuck out,

j.m.

today fucking sucks.

2010-06-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

where is my kitten?

salt lake came to toronto.

2010-06-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

we went to the barbershop and to the hospital.

birthday bonfire.

2010-06-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

my phone still takes crummy pictures, but you get the idea.
happy birthday, paige.

inner sanctum surveillance pt.5: vorherrschaft

2010-06-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

inner sanctum surveillance pt.4: maus jagend

2010-06-01T19:08:00.000-07:00

oh yeah.

2010-04-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

i cut my hair a few weeks ago. it looks much better now.

ivory times.

2010-04-03T23:33:00.000-07:00

Em Smith | 2001 (?)

¡L.A. JUSTIN AND THE DOUBLE D'S!

2010-03-26T01:22:00.000-07:00

on a much lighter note, the occupants of 929 ossington have come together to form L.A. Justin and The Double D's. if you like cop-out thrash riffs, slayer solos, and bad whiny vocals dealing with serious issues like motorcycle gang murder-rape, motorcycle-mounted barbarian chess, or motorcycle graveyard seance, then we will be rocking your fucking dicks outta your skulls soon enough.

this recording is of low quality. all will be properly rerecorded at a later date (i.e. real drums, non-sloppy vocals, better SFX). this is just to show you that it's happening. so yeah, fuck my music. let's drink the whisk, smash shit, and be a buncha assholes.

trash.

2010-03-26T00:52:00.000-07:00

well, my plan to have at least an EP recorded by the end of march has more or less proven to be a complete failure. despite my best intentions. i never got any further than one song in and what's even more disappointing is that it was supposed to be awesome and it's not. the lyrics suck, the arrangement sucks, and the mix sucks. i've now wasted over a month tinkering with it and i can't even hear what's happening anymore. there is enough i like about it, however, to put it here for interest's sake. i guess give myself something to do in a year when i look at and delete it after realizing i'm the only person who ever saw it there in the first place.

..been in a pretty foul mood lately, yeah. i fucking hate spring.

cadillac thrills.

2010-03-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

my only hope is that i can one day stumble onto something important and meaningful enough to justify this laziness and depression. join the ranks of the romanticized.

waiting period.

2010-03-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

"Oh god, what an indescribable bareness I feel. No words. They don't exist. Not for this. I just have to give myself up to the futility and bleak, crushing nothingness of my life....vacant of all meaning...oh god...how agonizingly despairing the simple truth...empty of purpose...yes...yes, so true, vacant of substance...nothing to resist...nothing to strive for...to wish for...to hope for...not even anything to defy...no battle of light and darkness, good and evil...no struggle for honor...most wretched of all, not even a fight against nothingness, no struggle for fulfillment...simply an absence of all sensibilities...only nothing...nothing...no fall from valor...no integrity to be reclaimed or perversion to be renounced...no...not even nothingness, but something so hideously beyond its almost ineffable...the total absence of everything, even nothingness..."

Hubert Selby Jr. (19280723 - 20040426)

inner sanctum surveillance pt.3: guten morgen

2010-02-25T07:25:00.000-08:00

inner sanctum surveillance pt.2

2010-02-20T01:48:00.000-08:00

crass cupidity.

2010-02-17T20:53:00.000-08:00

this year for valentine's day i was going to play video games and go to bed early. instead, i got a phone call at 11pm suggesting we go to niagara falls. so i went to niagara falls. i forgot about it until today. i have no idea who took this picture, but it was on my camera.

the taking of christie 126.

2010-02-14T18:58:00.000-08:00

tonight's transit-assisted journey home took a detour to the loblaw's a few blocks from my house. i needed groceries. standing near the rear doors of the bus, casually listening to thirstin howl III's skilligan's island. just minding my own business. one stop before mine i turned around to see this leathery scarecrow who seemed as though he'd spent his entire life with one hand clenched around the van de graaff generator he probably kept in his pocket. long, wavy grey hair thrown out from his scalp like a gaggle of freshly dismembered tentacles, barely taking a break to rest on his greasy brown overcoat. he gave me a knowing stare and started to poke his finger in my direction, slowly descending those three stairs to the back of the bus. "...have you ever seen pelham 123?" i shook my head, no. he then crept past me with squinted eyes and a mysterious, all-knowing nod, stepping off the bus, disappearing into the black. i've been googling this shit for an hour now and i have no idea what he was on about. i'm sure it was important, but...oh well.

back to '97.

2010-02-10T15:05:00.000-08:00

last night i stood before the deafening roar of applause and a wall of feedback. i was on stage with pantera and we were recording Official Live: 101 Proof. except there was no phil anselmo, because he didn't exist. there was only j.m. ladd. and my lyrics were much better. it was probably one of the best dreams of my life until i went grocery shopping and everything was on sale. because when i woke up i realized i did not, in fact, have mini-wheats waiting for me and i still had to go grocery shopping. where everything would likely not be on sale.

communiqué XXII

2010-02-09T00:27:00.001-08:00

communiqué XXI

2010-02-08T18:00:00.000-08:00

inner sanctum surveillance pt.1

2010-01-31T23:50:00.001-08:00

communiqué XX

2010-01-31T17:00:00.000-08:00

communiqué XIX

2010-01-28T21:01:00.000-08:00

communiqué XVIII

2010-01-25T14:27:00.001-08:00

communiqué XVII

2010-01-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

communiqué XVI

2010-01-22T16:34:00.000-08:00

communiqué XV

2010-01-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

communiqué XIV

2010-01-21T18:29:00.000-08:00

Pales the Pagan Kingdom of the Winter Born.

2010-01-17T17:10:00.000-08:00

nothing apart from everything.

2010-01-17T13:11:00.000-08:00

communiqué XIII

2010-01-16T08:12:00.001-08:00

communiqué XII

2010-01-15T14:35:00.001-08:00

communiqué XI

2010-01-15T00:04:00.000-08:00

magicians.

2010-01-14T15:30:00.000-08:00

i bought this yesterday.

communiqué X

2010-01-14T01:04:00.001-08:00

communiqué IX

2010-01-13T20:07:00.000-08:00

schwärzesten.

2010-01-12T21:22:00.000-08:00

the hottest fashion trend to hit 2010: a fist in yer face.

communiqué VIII

2010-01-12T20:38:00.001-08:00

communiqué VII

2010-01-11T19:17:00.001-08:00

communiqué VI

2010-01-11T18:47:00.001-08:00

communiqué V

2010-01-11T17:17:00.001-08:00

communiqué IV

2010-01-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

communiqué III

2010-01-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

communiqué II

2010-01-08T20:36:00.000-08:00

communiqué

2010-01-07T14:40:00.000-08:00

chistmas kitten.

2009-12-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

she's pretty great. and that's about all i can say for now other than she bears a striking resemblance to abbath:

best of '09. i'm cool now, right?

2009-12-15T15:04:00.000-08:00

yes, it's that obnoxious time of year where everyone's makin' lists. so, i've decided i'm no better and i'm gonna make one, too. these are the twelve best BM-oriented albums released in 2009 (i'm pretty sure i covered most all my bases), listed in chronological order of release:

01) Skaldic Curse - World Suicide Machine
02) Enmerkar - Starlit Passage
03) Svart - Vanära, Vanmakt och Avsmak
04) Cobalt - Gin
05) Fluisterwoud - Laat Alle Hoop Varen
06) Skagos - Ást
07) Wolves In The Throne Room - Black Cascade
08) Altar of Plagues - White Tomb
09) Xasthur - All Reflections Drained
10) Nazxul - Iconoclast
11) Wodensthrone - Loss
12) Liturgy - Renihilation

now go download 'em and tell me how right i am.

edit: i totally fucked this up by forgetting sun of the blind - skullreader which is probably my favourite release this year. this is why i hate lists. fuck lists. i couldn't even narrow it to ten in the first place. fuck this.

edit2: then i went and downloaded the new licht erlischt album, the narrow path. yeah, it's probably better than all of these. fuck lists.

inspiration quest.

2009-12-14T23:15:00.000-08:00

this project is so close to being finished.
we've been sitting on it for a year.

..motivate me.

the end?

2009-12-11T05:26:00.000-08:00

lately i've been having these post-apocalyptic fever dreams where i'm basically the last man on earth surrounded by women who hate me. enough to kill me. i'm waking up in cold sweats and shit. most of the details are fuzzy, but just now i awoke from one where they took me on a maury-style talk show. i'm not really sure what any of this might mean, but surely it can't be anything good.

november 21st.

2009-11-29T22:52:00.000-08:00

well, images have finally surfaced, and as was to be expected, most are incriminating. these, however, are not:

happy birthday, fag.

cosmic bowling.

2009-11-29T19:48:00.000-08:00

even at the end of the world, the melodious crushing of pins could fill my ears and satisfaction would be met.

november 21, 2009.

2009-11-18T14:24:00.000-08:00

hello. i was going to be really clever, mock this blog, and a parade of narcissistic bullshit about being the only one who reads it was to follow, blah blah, but it was taking too long and even i wasn't laughing. so i changed my mind. i just feel like i should mention it because i really did sit here for 20 minutes hoping something might work out. oh well.

anyway, it's my birthday on saturday, so i've put together another little fantasy wish-list to make it easier for when you go shopping to buy my gift because i love you. because i love that you love me so much as to do that. that's love.

1) a power supply for my computer (this way i can use it again).
2) a frozen pizza (it's easier than actually cooking, which i don't do).
3) a bottle of cheap scotch (i would say an expensive one, but i might feel bad when i drink it in a single sitting).
4) a nice tambourine.
5) a cheap mic stand (dan broke my last one).
6) a z.vex fuzz factory.
7) an electro harmonix #1 echo.
8) an AKG c-414 (i will continue to pray to a variety of deities until one of them comes through for me on this one).

the end. boredom out.

thanks, jayme.

2009-11-17T13:46:00.001-08:00

bon jovi knows no evil like the sinful siren screech of my vokillz.

Someday I want to masturbate into a book.

2009-11-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

"Fuck." A single word in an arsenal of insufficient expletives. A thousand assholes in a thousand stories that have started just like this one. The difference? I'm the only asshole self-important enough to write his down. Maybe you can see where this is going...

I'm a man with a lot of time on his hands. As such, I'm also a man with a lot of time for a lot of ideas. A man with an idea for every slow, obviously meaningful breath of smoke he exhales. Right now, however, I have no idea. No idea where the fuck I dropped my smokes last night, and no idea why I've again allowed a group of angry Wild Turkeys to skullrape me like a cheap hooker in the bowels of the brodello. With a court date on Wednesday and a pocket full of receipts, you'd think some semblance of self-discipline might've lurked out of it's cave by now. Eternal hibernation.

The sharp green glow from my alarm clock said it was 6 in the morning. A glance out the window suggested that my wishful thinking was about twelve hours late. My life is like a big bag of herpes. Unattractive, incurable, and it keeps flaring up over and over again. Another Friday come and gone. Content of questionable credibility in constant effect. Fuck.

ween.

2009-11-02T13:58:00.000-08:00

halloween 2009 was marked by a series of kinda fucked up occurrences. to shortlist: three breakups, bottomless whiskey & wine, and doing lines with the saddest, most self-destructive clown i've ever known. had i bothered to sleep before going to work at 11 o clock the following morning i might've avoided the recurring trainwreck that has seemingly become my life. fuck it. embrace the end.

summer of laura.

2009-10-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

i've walked by this poster outside the adult theater on bloor for the last year. i've always liked it. and now here it is.

take your time.

2009-08-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

i recorded this yesterday afternoon.

winter's on it's way.

bike rides.

2009-08-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

i like having a bike. a few days ago i decided to document what it looks/sounds like when i ride it to work because my life is, obviously, really interesting and needs to be shared with the world.

RE: summer jamz

2009-08-24T19:12:00.001-07:00

in response to this:

beer, meat, and metal.

2009-08-04T01:14:00.000-07:00

august is the month of the eternal bbq fest.

join me in the backyard.

new york top 10:

2009-06-08T00:22:00.000-07:00

may 29 - june 2, 2009

you'll note there aren't any pictures of the actual city. well, not many were taken as i didn't really get the chance to see it. the goal was to hang out with kalvin, logan, em, and erin. thankfully, reggie and kathleen also came into town and we all got to experience the awesome together. team rocket style.

more self-serving spam.

2009-05-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

the kibeth EP went up on project 168 today. now you can download it again (because you probably didn't the first time), in addition to some of the other great projects people put together for this.

(above image used without permission from the very talented steven stone. give him money to take photos of your shit.)

audresselles is my roommate andrew. "to whom it may concern" may be the most epic, wonderful thing he's ever recorded. magical. naturally, i suggest you listen to it.

fabien porée's song "sans paroles" needs to be the soundtrack to the film of my life. or at least the opening credits. truth.

rehash.

2009-05-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

so, as you may or may not recall, a few months ago i quickly put together a little diddy for a noise/experimental compilation based around religious themes. i suspect the idea was to be a little more blasphemous and aurally mutilating, so maybe i missed the point. or maybe jesus is still subconciously all up in my grill, who knows. anyway, though, you can download (for free) the compilation at planetarium records should you feel inclined to do so. party on, garth.

it was a very good year.

2009-05-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

when i was 17 (16). apparently, i guess.

on occasion, as i wake up, i mull over how much i really don't want to do what it is i have to go and do. i then ask myself if it really was any better when i was 16. this is when i realize that nothing much has really changed, i can just buy my own beer now. it could be worse.

mas machaut.

2009-04-24T17:16:00.001-07:00

essential listening.

kibeth.

2009-04-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

so. dan and i decided to participate in part four of project 168. we had a week to write and record an EP, but due to life we only had two brief afternoons and a midnight deadline. anyhow, black metal waits for no one. so fuck it. it'll be up on the site next week, but in the mean time, should you so desire, you can listen here:

kibeth by ambsace

assuming you're curious what i might actually be growling/shrieking about, let's just say it involves a necromancer, the nine gates along the river of death, and an army of the damned. i think i might be too embarassed to actually ever share the lyrics.

a love letter from a monster to a beautiful woman.

2009-03-31T00:52:00.000-07:00

i did this recently.

short and sweet.

egypt, dinosaurs, and the stairs of wonder.

2009-03-20T01:59:00.000-07:00

today i went to ROM for half-price thursdays. like every other tourist, despite my better judgement, i took pictures of all kinds of stuff. just now i was going through my camera and remembered why it's retarded: those pictures are pretty boring. the only thing actually worth taking a picture of that i didn't was a recreation of a quaint little traditional ontario porch. it consisted of the following elements: a little plaque on the front door (i forget what it said), a 'welcome' mat, a blue bin completely full of strictly empty water bottles, and a raccoon rummaging through a large pot. pretty impressive detail work here, my friends.

some things i learned at the museum:

1) chinese bells don't have clappers. hmm. who knew?
2) the bat cave is neither a cave, nor does it house bats. or batman.
3) differentiating between crocodiles and alligators is still completely baffling.
4) the ukraine exhibit is fulla pottery. booooriiiiing.
5) "scientists" dig up the bones, but they have no idea how they actually go together. they just make it all up. so that disproves science, makes evolution an elaborate hoax, and we have to believe the bible because hey, it says right there in the thing that it's the truth. (overheard while contemplating pterodactyls and the pudding cups in the food court)
6) it might be possible to reach planet phaelon from the chairs beside the main hall.

cities in dust.

2009-02-14T14:45:00.001-08:00

happy valentine's day and junk.

24 hours with no powers.

2009-01-18T22:14:00.000-08:00

see peter. see peter go. go, peter go. sigh.

Fresh Product.

2009-01-18T21:30:00.000-08:00

Hello. No, I haven't disappeared. Not just yet, anyway.

Recently I was commissioned with creating a track for an upcoming (yet to be titled) compilation on Planetarium Records. The song was to feature and be worked around a piece of previously recorded religious material.

I've never read the bible, nor am I particularly religious. But Thurl Ravenscroft certainly sounds very soothing and sincere while he reads it, doesn't he? Have a listen to the song on my page if you like. Psalms 23 and 24 never sounded so good.

I have a few new things to be sharing with you soon. Expect more spam later.

Thanks,
J.M.

ambsace on myspace

the end of an era.

2008-12-13T15:04:00.000-08:00

well, the golden egg is no longer in my posession. it now sails under the command of another captain. i'll always love that car. goodbye.

Eff Thursdays.

2008-12-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

or, rather, eff my life. eff you.

a gawddam 'merikun thanksgivin'.

2008-11-27T12:43:00.000-08:00

on this special day, being the only american that i know in canada, i will celebrate quietly to myself with this bottle of cheap wine and a compliment's rising crust deluxe pizza from sobey's. i had sunchips last night but i nervously ate them all watching paris hilton's my new bff.

- i'm thankful to be where i am.
- i'm thankful for winter.
- i'm thankful for beer and board games.
- i'm thankful for sappy folky-country music and black metal.
- i'm thankful for skirts, shaved legs, and stiletto heels.

mas que nada.

2008-11-20T01:47:00.000-08:00

i wish i had sauces for my pastas.
i'm willing to bet they'd be even tastier.

oh.

2008-11-18T20:48:00.000-08:00

apparently i've been turned into an album cover.
thanks, stecki-guy.

3 days...

2008-11-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

until my birthday. that's 3 days left to buy me some sweet presents. in case you need help figuring out what to get me, i've compiled here a short list:

- taquitos (jose ole, preferably)
- late-night shawarma
- rolling rock beer
- dollar bills (many of them)
- a pack of american camel filters
- my old 1973 triumph tr-5t (this gets blowjob thank yous)

i love you. the end.

dr. strange.

2008-11-16T19:10:00.001-08:00

(click the picture to super-size)